And now, I take a moment to write about shizz that fills me with great dismay.
I get it, girls on Facebook. Swimsuit season has snuck up on you (again) and you are frantically trying to hold yourself accountable for your years of terrible food choices and sedentary activity. You are huffing around the neighborhood and expecting overnight results. Or maybe you’ve been at it longer. Maybe you’ve completely changed your lifestyle and you’re damn proud of it.
There are plenty of people who adopt life-changing dietary and/or exercise habits all the time. As a rule, unless they are being paid, if these people require some sort of form of accountability, they do the sensible thing and start a blog about it. Sometimes, they post progress pics outside of blogs, and that’s no big deal. They might even spam their social networks with their daily weigh ins, food diaries, and their measurements as a way to keep track of themselves, and while there are better ways to do this that I wish these people would consider (see: start a blog), that doesn’t bother me quite so much as someone who posts a new picture close to every day and openly wonders why they all of a sudden look so much thinner than they did a few months ago. Is this a rhetorical question?
No, it’s not. You have cast a line fishing for virtual validation, and I will not enable you.
I discovered that this fishing epidemic seems to be a common point of commiseration for people with humility and self esteem. After speaking with friends who, like me, have navigated their own weight loss journey in the social media age with quiet grace, they agree with me: compliment fishing is not cute. When faced with a positive comment about their newly svelte frame on a recent photo, merely responding succinctly with a “thank you!” is all a lady needs to do.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just a grown up who doesn’t need validation from anyone but my own damn self. I realize that not everyone has that kind of attitude – some people never will. But like Nike says – and you should know because you just bragged about the new Nike kicks you bought for all the new running you are going to do – just do it. Actions are louder than words and whatnot.
When I am bombarded with something that irksthefuckingshitoutofme to the point that I will hide updates from people on Facebook (or just defriend them, because how did these people get on my friends list anyway?), I sometimes indulge in a little graphic therapy. So I made this, because this is how I feel about trolling for virtual pats on the back.
Basically what I’m saying is… sincere compliments given voluntarily > compliments you fish for from acquaintances. Truth. And please note I said compliments, not encouragement. There is a difference.
Feel free to use this image however you like (as long as you link back to me). Make it your desktop wallpaper, whatever. You can even grate it over your salad, take a picture of it, and post it on Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram. Then ask for people to like it, heart it, leave commenttttttsssssssss. Everyone likes it when you ask them to tell you how awesome you are. That doesn’t scream desperate at all.
Is compliment fishing an unfortunate byproduct of a very public social media age? Probably. Is this something that has been going on since long before the invention of the Internet? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean I have to have a gram of respect anyone who openly practices it. Putting your life out there is one thing. Compliment fishing is something completely different, and I am so over that shizz.